Finding Your Confidence Style
“Get this thing offa me right the h*ll now!”
The dressing room is a magical place.
The other day, I was clothes shopping (in a real live store!) and I noticed a few women coming out to the communal mirror. As a curious observer of humans humaning, I was stealing some peeks.
When these women found something that fit them perfectly - externally, yes, but that also fit their personality - I saw them light up. They seemed somehow more themselves. There was a smile, an energy, a confidence.
But the wrong outfit can really suck the life out of the place. It’s an immediate NO. The feeling of “get this thing offa me right the h*ll now” is never clearer - or quicker - than when we try to fit into something that doesn’t suit us.
Likewise, when we try to “put on” a personality that isn’t authentically us, we feel uncomfortable, look uncomfortable, and project discomfort. When we’re not sure what our body language should be, our cadence should be, how to stand in our own grounded confidence… it’s like wearing brand new shoes for the first time. You’d never wear heels you hadn’t broken in to a high-stakes presentation (or if you do, you’re either suffering through blisters or secretly trying to kick your shoes off under the table). This is why actors don’t work in a vacuum and why you shouldn’t either.
It’s incredibly hard to show up with grounded confidence without rehearsal (a safe space for repetition and refinement) and feedback. If you're out there representing your business or company in the world, you're more likely to be successful if you rehearse with a director or coach just like actors do. You need someone to be that mirror for you - reflecting back what’s not quite working and what makes you - and your audience - light up.
When you find a coach that’s the right fit, you feel like you’re able to show up in the world as the best version of you. When it’s not, it’s all wrong.
Like paisley with stripes, you either love it or hate it.
So how can you figure out if you’ve got the right match? You talk to them. (Yep. It’s as simple as trying on a new dress before cutting off the tags.)
Want to see if working with me can light you up like Carrie Bradshaw at the Manolo Blahniks store? Comment on this post or send me a message and I’ll share my calendar link for a discovery call.
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And speaking of not going it alone, if you want some free coaching in your ears, check out this episode of How I Built It. Joe Casabona and I get into How to be Prepared (and Reach More People) as a Podcast Guest.
“ Let’s all just say it like it is. There are millions of podcasts that I could be listening to. You’ve got to get me to listen and to stay listening within the first minute (and that’s generous - it’s more like 10 to 15 seconds, right?) So if the very first time I hear your voice, it’s a laundry list of things you’ve done - accomplishments or whatever - then more often than not, I’m going to click off… So you really want to capitalize on that beginning energy and make sure that you’re really speaking to the actual audience that’s listening.”
