“That sucked.” Making Friends with Your Inner Critic
Do you ever feel like you have a narrator in your head commenting on everything you do? Like there you are, just taking a shower, minding your own business, and suddenly, you hear some voice creep in with doubts and criticisms and general rudeness. But what if that voice is actually so deeply embedded that you don't even notice it's there? What are you supposed to do then?
On a recent episode of my podcast, From Your Center, my co-host Lea and I talked about our relationship with what we call both our “inner critic” and our “inner wisdom.” We share how this inner narrator can profoundly impact our happiness, success, health, and relationships in either positive or negative ways.
When our inner voice provides a running criticism about our actions, appearance, or abilities, it ends up blocking our joy and undermining our goals. I share a story about a former acting coaching client of mine who was massively blocked from success. Why? Because they worked from an internal narrative of “I suck.” Ouch!
“We think we are these totally rational, totally logical, thinking beings. But so much of this is automatic: what our body is sensing from the environment and our lived experiences both as children and in our current life. So much of us is wired for protection.”
But, when we intentionally craft our inner voice to be encouraging and supportive, it becomes a spectacular ally.
So how do we transform that inner critic into a helpful co-pilot? Lea and I recommend first developing awareness of our automatic thought patterns. Notice when judgment, shame, or fear arise and instead, reframe those narratives into positive intentions. For example, rather than focusing on not messing up, I can pivot my inner dialogue to feeling present, grounded, and connected with others. (Cue better performing here!)
“What’s so powerful is creating new neural pathways. Moving into the place where the default becomes a place of encouragement, a place of support, a place of love, a place of really seeing the value and the the goodness in you all the time.”
Shifting those old neural pathways takes practice, though. Tools like breath work, journaling, and “trying on” new language can help transform that inner voice into one that feels aligned, unlocking greater discernment, focus, and leadership from within.
We rarely slow down to tune into our inner world. But befriending our inner narrator and crafting it into a source of encouragement rather than criticism can guide us to more ease, joy and success in both work and life.
You can find this and all episodes by subscribing to From Your Center. Click here to find us on your favorite podcast app.
